RODIA, Mid Rim. 30 January 2009 Earth Standard Calendar. The usual Thursday evening battle for galactic dominance resumed after a one-week adjournment called by Major Ursa. The battle was joined with typical frivolity and ferociousness... and with some really bad dice rolls: Rebels roll a 2; Hutts roll three 1s.
With the Death Star on Hoth, the Rebels quickly abandonned the Ison Corridor and concentrated on the Core Worlds. The Hutts captured the Wild Space early on and held it for much of the game. Meanwhile, the Empire gradually fortified the Mid Rim, built up their star fleet, and edged the force meter ever more to the dark side. On the third turn, the Death Star destroyed a sizeable garrison on Kurt as well as the planet itself.
By the fourth round, the preponderance of dark force was netting the Empire four faction cards each turn. The Emperor appeared late in the game and was hidden on Rodia. The Rebels gambled and went instead after the Starbase at Bakura only to be twice thwarted by stalwart defenders.
The battles raged on until exhaustion set in on round 8 when the thinly spread Rebels and the dispirited Hutts capitulated. Although an Imperial victory, it was a shallow one lacking in the total subjugation of the Rebel forces.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Accidental Rebel Victory
Tonight, in a desperate attempt to break an 11-game losing streak, Darth Horak turned in his Imperial epaulets and snazzy Death Star to become Karl the Hutt. Ric in turn rotated from Peetza da Hutt to Darth Nadir, newly appointed Lord-God-King of the Empire. The mysterious and frequently victorious Ursa Major, aka Major Ursa, remained at the helm of the steady Rebel forces.
Game One
The Hutts, blocked by the Death Star on Gamorr, vainly tried to get into the bonus cards, but were constantly thwarted by awesome Rebel and Imperial dice rolls. Darth Nadir slowly ground the Rebels down to three measly planet and was set to claim an overwhelming victory.
Major Ursa though was not through yet. With three miniscule reinforcements on Derilyn, he took Dagobah and threw the one available survivor against Hoth. Of course, besides the Imperial star base, there were well over half a dozen legions as a garrison. Against overwhelming odds, it looked bleak.
That's when Major Ursa played his only faction card, forcing all but one Legion to flee to Bespin. With the odds suddenly down to one-on-one, the final roll was everything. Failure meant a sure Imperial victory; victory meant one star base destroyed, possibly with the Empire within it.
In a stunning turn of events, the Rebel troops overran the star base and found the Emperor hiding in a laundry chute. Score one for Johnny Reb, the most improbable come-from-behind victory and as astonishing as the time he accidentally captured the Emperor.
Game Two
The Empire deployed with the Death Star on Endor and quickly went on a vengeful attack against the dastardly Rebels. In the second turn, the Hutts were able to take advantage of the distraction and quicly took 10 resource planets. Score one for Karl the Hutt, his first victory in a month.
Game Three
More cautious this time, the Empire blocked the Mid Rim with the Death Star on Nar Shadraa. However, early capture of the Wild Space gave the Hutts a slight numerical edge and moved them well into the bonus cards on their resource meter. When an Imperial assault failed just short of Rebel annihilation, the green hoard was able to cash in faction cards, normal reinforcements, and Wild Space reinforcements to create an unstoppable force. Ten resource planets quickly fell for another Hutt victory.
Game One
The Hutts, blocked by the Death Star on Gamorr, vainly tried to get into the bonus cards, but were constantly thwarted by awesome Rebel and Imperial dice rolls. Darth Nadir slowly ground the Rebels down to three measly planet and was set to claim an overwhelming victory.
Major Ursa though was not through yet. With three miniscule reinforcements on Derilyn, he took Dagobah and threw the one available survivor against Hoth. Of course, besides the Imperial star base, there were well over half a dozen legions as a garrison. Against overwhelming odds, it looked bleak.
That's when Major Ursa played his only faction card, forcing all but one Legion to flee to Bespin. With the odds suddenly down to one-on-one, the final roll was everything. Failure meant a sure Imperial victory; victory meant one star base destroyed, possibly with the Empire within it.
In a stunning turn of events, the Rebel troops overran the star base and found the Emperor hiding in a laundry chute. Score one for Johnny Reb, the most improbable come-from-behind victory and as astonishing as the time he accidentally captured the Emperor.
Game Two
The Empire deployed with the Death Star on Endor and quickly went on a vengeful attack against the dastardly Rebels. In the second turn, the Hutts were able to take advantage of the distraction and quicly took 10 resource planets. Score one for Karl the Hutt, his first victory in a month.
Game Three
More cautious this time, the Empire blocked the Mid Rim with the Death Star on Nar Shadraa. However, early capture of the Wild Space gave the Hutts a slight numerical edge and moved them well into the bonus cards on their resource meter. When an Imperial assault failed just short of Rebel annihilation, the green hoard was able to cash in faction cards, normal reinforcements, and Wild Space reinforcements to create an unstoppable force. Ten resource planets quickly fell for another Hutt victory.
Friday, January 9, 2009
No Mercy for the Empire
News Flash!
Gamorr, Mid Rim. 09 Jan 2009 Earth Standard Calendar System. In their weekly war for galactic domination, the Hutt's luck finally ran out. Faced with the Death Star orbiting his home world and a series of star bases strung out along the Mid Rim resource planets, Peetza da Hutt could only muddle along. Repeated shipyard attacks destroyed his capability to convert faction cards into additional troops. Attrition finally lowered him to less than a handful of planets and no real reinforcement options.
Meanwhile, Imperial Legions and Rebel Squadrons faced off in the rest of the sectors in a see-saw battle that played out only when the Rebels finally penetrated the Mid Rim and the Wild Spaces. Storm Troopers responded by destroying the large force at Kothlis and taking out Nar Shaddaa with the Death Star. Unfortunately, despite leaving a substantial garrison complete with heavy vessels, this left the Emperor relatively vulnerable for the first time since his initial establishment of his base at Gamorr at the very beginning of the conflict. Rebels from Excarga were able to whittle resistance down in a final battle of 3 squadrons against 2 legions that resulted in the capture of the Emperor and a Rebel victory.
In subsequent action yesterday, the Empire setup far from the Mid Rim and left the problem of controlling the Hutts to the Rebel faction. Needless-to-say, the Rebels failed miserably at the job, even with control of the El'Rood Sector. Within a five rounds the Hutts were able to control the Wild Space, exchange faction cards for 7 hoards, and take their 12 reinforcements on a rampage that quickly mastered the galaxy. Yet another Hutt victory leaves the Empire thirsting for vengence.
Gamorr, Mid Rim. 09 Jan 2009 Earth Standard Calendar System. In their weekly war for galactic domination, the Hutt's luck finally ran out. Faced with the Death Star orbiting his home world and a series of star bases strung out along the Mid Rim resource planets, Peetza da Hutt could only muddle along. Repeated shipyard attacks destroyed his capability to convert faction cards into additional troops. Attrition finally lowered him to less than a handful of planets and no real reinforcement options.
Meanwhile, Imperial Legions and Rebel Squadrons faced off in the rest of the sectors in a see-saw battle that played out only when the Rebels finally penetrated the Mid Rim and the Wild Spaces. Storm Troopers responded by destroying the large force at Kothlis and taking out Nar Shaddaa with the Death Star. Unfortunately, despite leaving a substantial garrison complete with heavy vessels, this left the Emperor relatively vulnerable for the first time since his initial establishment of his base at Gamorr at the very beginning of the conflict. Rebels from Excarga were able to whittle resistance down in a final battle of 3 squadrons against 2 legions that resulted in the capture of the Emperor and a Rebel victory.
In subsequent action yesterday, the Empire setup far from the Mid Rim and left the problem of controlling the Hutts to the Rebel faction. Needless-to-say, the Rebels failed miserably at the job, even with control of the El'Rood Sector. Within a five rounds the Hutts were able to control the Wild Space, exchange faction cards for 7 hoards, and take their 12 reinforcements on a rampage that quickly mastered the galaxy. Yet another Hutt victory leaves the Empire thirsting for vengence.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
News from Ursa Major
01-07-2009 Earth Standard Calendar Year
Clagg Mondrehedon reporting for Klaxon News, subsidiary of Galactic News
Instellary
Dagobah System , in route to the Gallo Galaxy
Nel Fibson, sycophant and Galactic Conspiracy Theorist, today warned Rebel
Alliance Leader, Ursa Major, of a trap set by Darth Horak, AKA Lord King God of
the Galaxy, in collusion with Peetza da Hutt at the upcoming round table
summit to be held in an undisclosed location inside the Gallo Galaxy. The summit
revolves around discussions of prisoner exchange after the Rebels caught an
Emperor Clone hiding in a Imperial Palace laundry chute on Rodir.
Now the following should be taken with a grain of Parmesan . .
Beware the narcoleptic pasta and tryptophanic meat sauce warns Fibson, they
will lull you into snoozing through your upcoming capaign. Many lives will be
lost and not just to poor dice rolls. Poison snifters should be allowed after
the regrettable incident on Bakurr in which the use of embedded slave taste
tester faces (in priceless Gomorrian china bowls i might add) were outlawed by
the Galactic Geneva Convention. Apparently the thrashing and flailing seizures
of a Kessel spice mine slave upset the Gentilly, especially after soiling the
hostess' Vera Wang evening dress via a loud belch. And that is to say
nothing of the destruction of some fine Gomorrian china and Ylesian crystal as the
bowl skittled off the table onto the floor disintegrating Humpty Dumpty like
into a gazillion pieces amid the strangled shrieks of the poor slave.
Apparently it is impossible to perform a Heimlich on an embedded piece of china.
Pardon me for digressing into culinary antecdotes, but I find the galaxy's
gastronomical habits fascinating as my gentle readers know all to well.
Ursa Major dismissed the warnings with his usual flair and petulance. "I
base my conclusions on the fact that earlier this year, Mr. Nel Fibson theorized
the Republic Revisionists would lobby and succeed in naming the capital of
Terra, Bushington instead of Washington, after the late 20th century political
coupe master. It turned out to be bushit. And who said anything about an
upcoming campaign?"
To which Mr. Fison retorted, "I expect no less from the dull witted and
peevish Ursa Minor. After all he had blithely dismissed the Emperor's clone to be
thriving in plain sight on Rodir, to all contrary intelligence. If it wasn't
for his underlings and minions the poor fellow would be emptying bedpans of
the Hutts. And by the way, he did receive his complement of dice boxcars, much
to his claim to the contrary."
I entreated the mysterious Taca Belle, phage entrepreneur and franchise rival
of Peetza, to confirm or deny Mr. Fibson's wild tail, but, alas, she was
indisposed in cheddar negotiation with the Cheeseheads on Hapes.
So, vaya con Santo Pepto until post summit news. Clagg Mondrehedon
Clagg Mondrehedon reporting for Klaxon News, subsidiary of Galactic News
Instellary
Dagobah System , in route to the Gallo Galaxy
Nel Fibson, sycophant and Galactic Conspiracy Theorist, today warned Rebel
Alliance Leader, Ursa Major, of a trap set by Darth Horak, AKA Lord King God of
the Galaxy, in collusion with Peetza da Hutt at the upcoming round table
summit to be held in an undisclosed location inside the Gallo Galaxy. The summit
revolves around discussions of prisoner exchange after the Rebels caught an
Emperor Clone hiding in a Imperial Palace laundry chute on Rodir.
Now the following should be taken with a grain of Parmesan . .
Beware the narcoleptic pasta and tryptophanic meat sauce warns Fibson, they
will lull you into snoozing through your upcoming capaign. Many lives will be
lost and not just to poor dice rolls. Poison snifters should be allowed after
the regrettable incident on Bakurr in which the use of embedded slave taste
tester faces (in priceless Gomorrian china bowls i might add) were outlawed by
the Galactic Geneva Convention. Apparently the thrashing and flailing seizures
of a Kessel spice mine slave upset the Gentilly, especially after soiling the
hostess' Vera Wang evening dress via a loud belch. And that is to say
nothing of the destruction of some fine Gomorrian china and Ylesian crystal as the
bowl skittled off the table onto the floor disintegrating Humpty Dumpty like
into a gazillion pieces amid the strangled shrieks of the poor slave.
Apparently it is impossible to perform a Heimlich on an embedded piece of china.
Pardon me for digressing into culinary antecdotes, but I find the galaxy's
gastronomical habits fascinating as my gentle readers know all to well.
Ursa Major dismissed the warnings with his usual flair and petulance. "I
base my conclusions on the fact that earlier this year, Mr. Nel Fibson theorized
the Republic Revisionists would lobby and succeed in naming the capital of
Terra, Bushington instead of Washington, after the late 20th century political
coupe master. It turned out to be bushit. And who said anything about an
upcoming campaign?"
To which Mr. Fison retorted, "I expect no less from the dull witted and
peevish Ursa Minor. After all he had blithely dismissed the Emperor's clone to be
thriving in plain sight on Rodir, to all contrary intelligence. If it wasn't
for his underlings and minions the poor fellow would be emptying bedpans of
the Hutts. And by the way, he did receive his complement of dice boxcars, much
to his claim to the contrary."
I entreated the mysterious Taca Belle, phage entrepreneur and franchise rival
of Peetza, to confirm or deny Mr. Fibson's wild tail, but, alas, she was
indisposed in cheddar negotiation with the Cheeseheads on Hapes.
So, vaya con Santo Pepto until post summit news. Clagg Mondrehedon
Friday, January 2, 2009
Rebels Break Hutt Winning Streak
Its the New Year and as per usual for a Thursday evening, the Star Wars Risk trio rang out the old and rang in the new with a couple rounds of SWR. In battle #1 for galactic domination the Hutts made quick work of things after the Rebels carelessly over-extended themselves in an assault on both Hutts and the Empire.
In battle #2 the Hutts were quickly and ruthlessly hammered down by both opponents. Importantly, both Rebels and Storm Troopers played the "Shipyard Attack" cards, removing four key Hutt cards. With the Hutt threat safely tamped down, the Rebels kept up the pressure on the Empire, but lacked the ability to take out starbases until late in the game. The Death Star had a rare (possibly the first) opportunity to destroy two systems: Sullust and Kurt.
Even then, after trading control of various sectors, things looked grim for the Rebels. Since the starbase on Ylesia was heavily fortified with the Death Star and a number of crack Imperial troops, it obviously protected the Emperor. The Rebel leader attacked other starbases just to cause attrition. Imagine their surprise when they took Rodia, not bothering to even flip the token over, only to find the Emperor hiding in a laundry chute. It was an accidental Rebel victory.
In battle #2 the Hutts were quickly and ruthlessly hammered down by both opponents. Importantly, both Rebels and Storm Troopers played the "Shipyard Attack" cards, removing four key Hutt cards. With the Hutt threat safely tamped down, the Rebels kept up the pressure on the Empire, but lacked the ability to take out starbases until late in the game. The Death Star had a rare (possibly the first) opportunity to destroy two systems: Sullust and Kurt.
Even then, after trading control of various sectors, things looked grim for the Rebels. Since the starbase on Ylesia was heavily fortified with the Death Star and a number of crack Imperial troops, it obviously protected the Emperor. The Rebel leader attacked other starbases just to cause attrition. Imagine their surprise when they took Rodia, not bothering to even flip the token over, only to find the Emperor hiding in a laundry chute. It was an accidental Rebel victory.
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